2019

Suicide captured your head and me,

loner.
You let me stare
and scream.
No wonder
stalking is my daily routine.
Desperately fulfilling the emptiness. Sex you get only in dreams.

Where are you when I need to talk?
Forgotten, forgiven, stop holding the thought.

I crave you, my lover, wherever you are.
I lost you
You were not
I have any heart
for love.
Though I beg to be pleased. I wish to love
I can’t. The invisible wall of my sins hold me against
myself.
Was I ever a sinner?
Did I ever sin?

I wonder
Who was I all my lives before?
Fucker? Prisoner? Guardian? Child? Someone?

Look in the mirror borderline bitch
Those voices – they scream
Wanting your dirt, wanting your filth.

They want your life. Tough you cannot even feel love.


Antisocial networks

They took your life. Those antisocial networks
They dragged you into the deepest mud
My empty soul is full of abundant materials.
They showed you new dimension. We have to deal with it they said
but no one ever will.

Tutorials were burned, hope broken.
God is in the Bible. Nowhere near.

This is hell. Black and white. Fight or Die. Speak and lie.

Get up. Spread your legs. It’s fine. No one notices.
Power is taken. We are slaves spreading slavery.
We are broken to the core (beyond repair).
And there is no chance.
Find some peace.

Why are you silent now?
Shut up. Go away. Come here.


2020

1447. E-mails. Delivered.

I am waiting for her.
E-mail.
Delivered.
I want to suck her words with mine. Letters a-b-c mixed with her lines.
Poetry is a way to disguise.

1447. E-mails. Delivered.
Waiting. Wet. Nothing.

All the unhappy families are unhappy in its own way.